A tale of two men

By Karen Welsh
This is the story of two men.
One selfish.
One selfless.
One temporal.
One eternal.
One devastating.
One life-giving.
Both are successful, in their 40’s, been married more than 20 years and each has a parcel of lovely children.
One decides to be the typical stereotype of a man in a mid-life crisis and leave his wife, his family — all he has ever held dear.
After all, his wife’s body is starting to show wear and tear. Birthing babies and helping him operate a thriving business hasn’t left much time to go to the gym.
To him, she ain’t what she used to be.
It doesn’t matter that she stuck with him through the lean times, when they were poorer than dirt. He’s got a thousand “valid” reasons to rationalize his decision.
Sadly, he refuses to turn around and see the brokeness and devastation he’s left by his “well-thought out” decision.
The other man chooses to be faithfully committed to his wife. Oh, she definitely ain’t what she used to be, but that doesn’t seem to phase him. Her body is racked with the pain of fibromyalgia. Sometimes it’s better, sometimes worse.
There have been moments of excruciating pain when she’s cried out, “Please leave me, I don’t deserve you. You shouldn’t have to live with this.”
He doesn’t seem to hear her despair, however. He only looks at her and smiles — remembering the myriad of ways she cooked tofu when they could afford nothing else.
In this simple gesture, he paints a picture of grace and tenderness upon her weary soul.He understood the vows he made and the sacred words, “Till death do we part,” are fresh on his lips.
When he looks into her eyes he doesn’t see a worn-out wife. He sees her —all she has been and all she can be.
“We share too much history together,” he gently speaks to her. “I will never leave you.”
She crumples and cries. He is a solid rock and she realizes he is a perfect picture of Jesus.
She — so undeserving.
He — so graceful.
She — so burdened.
He — so freeing.
She — so tired.
He — so redeeming.
Yes, this is the tale of two men.
My dear friend is married to the first and recently had rug was ripped out from underneath her world by his self-centered act.
It’s sickening because I have watched her husband look in her eyes, but he doesn’t see her. She’s invisible. Otherwise, he would see how priceless, wonderful and incredible she is to him, his children, yes, even the world.
He would see the love, joy and history of the family he’s throwing away. He would see the devastation he is causing.
Although she remains committed, there is no security, no future, no hope. She lives in sadness and confusion.
Her marriage, once seemingly rock solid, is now deadly quicksand. She is quickly sinking and her children are drowning with her.
I almost hate to say this, because I’m the woman married to the second man— a man without lists — a man of everlasting love and values — and I am blessed, so very blessed.
I’m banking on a happy ending. After all, the best part of the story is always found in the final chapter. Unfortunately, most people put the book down before they get to the end.